My Totem or Spirit Animals

BUTTERFLY

Butterfly is the symbol of change, the soul, creativity, freedom, joy and color. Their power is transformation, shape shifting and soul evolution. They represent the element of air, quickly changing and always on the move gracefully.

She asks us to accept the changes in our lives as casually as she does. The butterfly unquestioningly embraces the chances of her environment and her body.This unwavering acceptance of her metamorphosis is also symbolic of faith. Here the butterfly beckons us to keep our faith as we undergo transitions in our lives. She understands that our toiling, fretting and anger are useless against the turning tides of nature – she asks us to recognize the same

SWAN

Grace, Beauty, Power of Self The Swan is one of the most powerful and ancient of totems. A Swan totem heralds a time of altered states of awareness and the development of intuitive abilities. Swan people have the ability to see the future, and to accept the healing and transformation that is beginning in their lives. Accept your ability and go with the flow. You have the ability to see into the future and to accept the healing and transformation that is so constant in our lives. You tend to be completely monogamous in your relationships.

KITTY



Cats are an image of wholeness - a merging of the physical and spiritual, the psychic and the sensual. For a cat, these are not separate worlds, but one. They have been tagged with a variety of traits, including curiosity, nine lives, independence, cleverness, unpredictability, and healing.

​Cat animal symbolism reminds us to not fall prey to false beliefs, to not be a fool out of ignorance and derive understanding from our own internal wisdom. The cat beckons us to realize that when we turn within to our own hearts, minds and souls, and trust in ourselves we will always be shown the truth of matters.






orca




Orca teaches abilities of entering the depths of the mind and emotions, accessing ancient memories buried deep within, recognizing the power of vibrational energy and aids to heighten intuition and perceptions. Orca can help you discover your own personal "song of the soul" that until now has been hidden. Orca teaches how to swim in life with grace and strength and dive the depths of your being. This animal demonstrates creativity and joy, aids in accessing personal freedom, teaches empowerment, heightens ability to heal with sound and song, and allows access to unconscious memories for health, healing and personal discovery. 
 



You are highly intelligent with great learning abilities. You never make the same mistake twice! This, along with your adaptability, enables you to take on the most challenging of assignments and projects in life because you always know that you will be capable of learning whatever it is you need to learn in order to succeed. You know how to use your voice to get what you want in life and you are always closely connected with your inner self. You know how to stay on track with your life path.
 







OTTER

Playfulness, joy, togetherness, curiosity, awakening, creativity, imagination, healing wisdom, awareness, faithfulness, if Otter is your animal totem you have no selfishness, are not self centered, or self driven and could never be mean to others. You find purpose in supporting and enhancing the lives of others.You find everything interesting and have a great deal of curiosity. You effortlessly create space in your life for others without preconceptions or suspicions. You tend to have a great deal of happiness and good fortune in your life.








GIRAFFE

 


You have the gift of higher perception and inner awareness. Your gentleness and gracefulness in action are always apparent to others. You have learned to make your words count and share your awareness of your surroundings with others. You often know the future, can sense what is going to happen and what lies over the horizon. Nothing catches her by surprise, for she can see not only what is heading her way, but can run as fast as the wind if she does not like what she sees.
 




The giraffe loves her body.  She loves that she is unique in all the world and she knows and owns her beauty.  She does not waste a single minute in wishing she were anything other than what she is. With her energy within you, you will be able to find ways to maintain your own uniqueness while sharing the world with others.  Her highly social nature will help you find the right balance between being exactly who you are, shining out with your wonder, while also fitting in with the group when you care to. 

Seek Ye First (the law of attraction?)

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

I had a moment of clarity on this today as I was pondering something my guides said recently about a friend of mine. More on that in a sec, but for right now, let me throw something out there...

What if "the kingdom of god and his righteousness" is your deepest self, that which connects you to the divine, to source? What if what this verse is trying to say is seek your truth and all these things shall be added unto you... and what if all these things are in reality, the dreams of your soul?

You know me, I always say dreams are the treasure map of the soul. I believe they are the things god instills in us upon creation to direct our course here in this lifetime. They are personal and they are unique. Those dreams speak to us of things oftentimes others don't even understand, but when we follow them... when we look inward and we seek out "god"...when we seek ye first... miracles happen all around us.

When we are living in our truth, we are vibrating our truth and the law of attraction then comes into play exactly as it should because we are now attracting to us all the real pieces, opportunities and people we need to complete those dreams.

Now, about my friend. My guides said to me recently,

It’s All Energy

More and more, lately, people are talking about energy and how it makes up our physical being as well as everything around us. Some people have even become more comfortable with the term “God” if it is described as an energy force rather than a disapproving father figure. There are books and classes and numerous articles available online for studying energy and how to control and manipulate it to create the best life possible. It is an interesting time and we are very fortunate to have all this available to us.

What I believe is that at the most basic level, everything is energy and I’ve even learned how to transfer it, block it, absorb what I need of it and heal with it. I’ve had these experiences that I cannot deny and by looking at things more from an energy perspective, it makes it easier for me personally to navigate the world around me.

What I want to focus on right now though is the energy we create with our thoughts. There is an article on the “BE” page talking about our inner dialogue, I want to continue that thought process here at a more advanced level bringing in the concept of the Law of Attraction.

The essence of the law is found across religion and in the DNA of basic psychology, but was never more mainstream than with the success of a little book called The Secret.

I know countless people have read the book, but I’m not sure most of the people who read it, really understood the core focus on the law of attraction. It’s not about merely thinking I want a rich, sexy husband, or I want a promotion and an office with a window, you have to

Taking You Places You’ve Never Seen Before

That’s what god does in my life.

A year and a half ago he brought me to Florida. I had been planning a move to Orlando anyway after the implosion of what I had called my life the year before, but I had no real idea how I was going to make it happen. I only knew I had to be in Florida.

The trip had been pushed back three separate times and if I’m entirely honest, I wasn’t sure I’d ever really make it here. Then one day something happened in my life that was so polarizing that I sat in my bed and asked myself “Why am I still sacrificing my life for others who would never do the same for me?”

It was in that moment I heard god speak and he said go online, book your airline ticket for the first flight out and don’t look back.

I did and within two weeks of that moment, I arrived in Orlando… and was promptly homeless. I spent my first day in my new life trying to find a place to live and when all looked positively bleak, I again heard that voice tell me, check there, that’s where I want you.

Well the place god “wanted” me looked to be closed, but I finally listened and as it turned out, that place that looked out of business had been a 5 star Hyatt that was in the process of a change of ownership and was in flux and it became my home the first four months I lived here. Not only had god taken me from a small trailer in VA where I was dying, but he placed me in a large hotel room with king bed, a balcony overlooking a pool, complimentary breakfast every morning and a Disney shuttle too boot! I was in heaven. :D

In the first few weeks of my life here I came upon wildlife I’d never seen before, armadillos, alligators, and a lot of water fowl. There was a flock of white ibis that came to dine on bugs in the lawn outside my room every day, frogs that would hop up on my balcony during rain storms and tons and tons of lizards!

I’m an animal person, so I was loving it.

Every afternoon that I hadn’t gone to Disney, I would walk the two blocks to the local Subway to find dinner and along the way I would talk with god and I just remember feeling

True Surrender

I have had an experience that changed my life and I believe when we experience those things, we need to share them so that others may find a piece to their own life puzzle through what we’ve shared. For me it was a moment on a beach with someone I love and it taught me surrender.

Surrender to my weight, surrender to the twin flame being what it was, surrender in my writing… surrender to god and honestly my life is not the same.

I’ve waited to write about this because I was watching to see if it was a permanent change, or a onetime glow. I was waiting to see how it would manifest in my life and what changes it would usher in. I think many of us struggle with true surrender, especially in the spiritual. It’s hard to surrender to something you can’t see and don’t know what’s real or what’s your imagination. For me, I had worked my way up to surrender in most things, but what I hadn’t mastered was staying in surrender. I was like the child in that poem who gave the broken toy to god, but never actually let go of it so god could fix it. I’d give it to god, then I’d pick it right back up again. It was a very long existing pattern and I am a very stubborn and independent woman.I knew that the only way to truly see change in my life was

A Higher Calling I Cannot Turn Away From

I don't know why, but I cannot walk away from the path of authenticity. I cannot pretend to be something I'm not. I cannot change myself to make others more comfortable being around me.

Is that wrong? I'm not sure. Does it bring me a lot of pain? Most definitely, but it also comes with tremendous peace and enlightenment and I can't help but think in the end, I'll be proven right for making the choices I do.

I grew a lot spiritually over the summer. In the past few weeks I’ve been consciously defining myself as well. I spent much of the summer trying to help a close friend with her spiritual journey. It had its high points and definite low points, but I learned a lot through it. I wish it had ended better for her, but I’m trying very hard to take home the lesson that I am not responsible for everyone! I did the absolute best I knew how to do and I have no real regrets other than it didn’t end the way I had hoped it would.

As I am no longer in that place of being focused on someone else, I have turned rather introspective internalizing what the journey taught me. I think by and large I have to admit that I am accepting the spiritual gifts that I have been given, yes, still with somewhat of a heavy heart, but I only pray once or twice a week now to be “normal” so that’s progress! .

I have become more comfortable with reading Tarot, although is still shocks me when people respond so positively to a reading I give them. I learned a lot about stones and the energy within. I have a few favorites now and I’ll actually be sharing some of that knowledge on one of the other blogs on a regular basis. I’ve studied chakras and learned meditations to help align them more effectively and very definitely notice the difference in myself. I’ve made as much peace as I think I ever will with being able to hear other people’s spirit guides, dead (in this life) people, and telepathy, which is SUCH a freaky thing when it starts happening to you, but I think what I HAVE to learn most of all, is

God is Bigger than My Insanity

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind... but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. " - Into the Wild

I'm having a crisis of faith the last week or so. It basically comes down to the fact that I've sought truth all my life, but perhaps never considered the ramifications of being trusted with it.

I read that quote above on a website I was researching from earlier in the week and it really spoke to me. I realized that most of my life I've tried to pretend I'm this nice fifties housewife with a wicked kinky streak and no more. All my dreams reflected that persona, my writings, my life.

After all, what more is the "American Dream" than a life of comfort and security? It was a dream I very much was invested in once, only when achieved, I realized it was hollow, as empty as a can of Pringles after ten minutes with my youngest son.

When you have that moment, when you achieve your dreams and you realize

Questioning

I was raised Christian.

I've followed that path faithfully most of my life, although about fifteen years ago I started defining my own spirituality based more on what I felt from within as opposed to what I was being taught from without. Two weeks ago I had this series of experiences where my mind opened to a whole new level and now I need to figure out what's real and where I'm supposed to go from here. This post is an attempt to do that, I ask that if you read through, that you don't take anything said as an attack on religion or any race or sexuality preference, I'm simply a woman trying to make sense of some very heavy insight.

I've always been a very open minded soul. I believe in god, but I believe in letting people live and make their own decisions. I believe god speaks to all of us if we seek him and it's not my place to go chasing after souls. I've spent much of my life defining my own beliefs to the point that it's hard finding a label that really fits anymore, Christian, new age, spiritual, zen, Buddhist... they all fit to a degree, but none fill all the spaces of my soul screaming I'm the one you've searched for.

All this questioning has of course led me to questioning all of humanity and creation, you know, why are we here, how did we get here, are we alone out here?

Some of my favorite questions of the moment are...

Living Open

There are things of which my soul believes, but that my mind does not want to consider.

Things like marriage, success and becoming this woman I feel I am inside, that my mind says is getting too big for her britches. :)

We so often allow fear to shut us down and block the most wonderful things in our life. It is said that oftentimes the thing that is best for us is the thing hidden in our fears. When we face down fears, we change our lives and most often find more peace, happiness and enlightenment along the way than we ever could have imagined beforehand. Fear makes us block the thing we want and thus really the only thing to really fear is fear itself.

I recognize the truth of this recently as I am often the biggest block to wonderful things coming into my life, but I just don't want to be that anymore. With my twin flame relationship for instance, I got so caught up in how happy he was with his current gf, that I tried to tell god to find me someone else, to leave Tony with his gf.

In about two years from now, I want you all to remind me of how stupid that was. ;-)

Also, take marriage, I don't want to get married again. I say it all the time. Somewhere along the line though I realized that my truth really is that I don't want to get divorced again. Therefore I refuse to marry. No marriage, no divorce. Makes sense, right?

Wrong!

A- that's bass ackwards. and B- In my heart of hearts, I do crave that level of a committed relationship in my future, but fear makes me back away. Fear of not getting what I want, equally as much as fear of getting exactly what I want and not being able to handle it. Failing at another relationship terrifies me. Failing at my twin flame relationship makes me act positively stupid.

This is not a good situation I've set up so I'm purposefully re-languaging myself. For starters,